Do you ever feel like you're just not doing enough? Like you're wasting your free time? It's not just me, right?
I've been looking for a part-time job since the summer, but nothing's come up. I have six hours to myself five days a week and I feel like I should be doing something Important with a captial "I". I want my daughter to look up to me and want to be like me. Am I sending her the right message by being home and not having a job? Being a stay-at-home mom is not what I thought I'd be doing six years ago. In fact, I still hate saying those words - they bring up such negative feelings for me. It means I'm a housewife - home all day to clean, take care of the house, run errands and look after kids. Booooring. I want more! I want a successful art career that brings in money. Enough money so that we can go out for dinner, or meet friends for drinks, or buy new clothes every now and then, and not have to think twice about it. I want to buy this, just because it's pretty.
I know some people are happy with being home, taking care of house chores and children. It's just not what fills me up. I don't want to send Malayna the message that men work and women stay home. She should know that she can do or be anything she wants. I'm not exactly sending her that message right now.
I'm feeling restless…