It's 9:45pm on Monday. I just received a phone call from Artie's mom, Missy. I haven't talked to her in over three years - and if I never spoke to her again I would be ecstatic.
She called to say, "You think you can parent my kid? Artie's in boot camp and it's all your f***ing fault." And then she hung up on me.
I took a minute to calm down and tell myself to breathe. I then looked up the number on the caller ID and called her back. When she answered, I said, "Missy. What are you talking about?" I made myself sound very cool and calm {which was the exact opposite of how I was really feeling}. She repeated what she originally said to me and then, "They say that he had no parenting and is allowed to do whatever he wants. So thanks!" {You have to understand how very unintelligent this woman is. I think she truly believes what she said to me.}
"It's all your f***ing fault. I hope your f***ing kid turns out f***ed up, too."
I replied, "Do you really believe it's my fault?" {I did snicker a little here. How could I NOT?} "Well, I hope that makes you feel better."
She hung up again.
I know nothing. I don't know where he is or if he's okay.
5 comments:
Oh my goodness. I commend you for remaining calm, I'm no so sure that I could have kept my cool like you did. I hope that Artie is alright.
Kudos for keeping your cool - I don't know how you do it. That woman has been pushing your buttons for years, and somehow you've stayed above all that. Let Missy live in her fantasy world, blaming you. That's probably the only way she can cope with how her children have turned out. You know (as we all do) that you and Jimmy are the only parents Artie EVER had - the only ones who've truly cared about him. Hold on to that, and try not to worry too much. We all know he's a tough kid :) (k)
Wow. That must have felt like quite a slap, coming from out of the blue like that! I only know you from reading your blog, but - gosh - if you had even the tiniest part in parenting Artie, he is so much better off. I know that he carries a part of you and your husband in his heart, and he always will. I know that he is a better person because of it. No matter what this woman does to try to F*** it up. Hang in there, and know that you gave him loads of love and stability.
lisa, I am so sorry about the call... I just read the blog today. You can't control her transferring her feelings of failure and anger to you. Feel good that you did the best you could with Artie. I am so proud of what you did for him and you should be too. I really hope he is with people who will treat him with respect and teach him more about the things you and Jimmy were trying show him. love, julie (and colin!)
I know that Jimmy and I did the best we could with Artie. His therapist once said to me, "It was like you were trying to fill the Grand Canyon." How true.
I just can't believe Missy honestly blames me! I guess I gave her waaaay too much credit. Does she not have a mirror in her house?
Thank you for all the support!
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