First, let me say that four is better than three. Anything would be better than three. Three was tough. I know I've said all this before, but I don't want you to forget how Malayna wouldn't leave the house for an entire week last winter (because it SNOWED), how she would yell at strangers when they looked at her, how she refused anything new or different, how she clung to me during all her waking hours...
So her new phase is nothing compared to previous ones. So far. Lately she's been a teeny bit defiant. When it was time for her rest yesterday, she decided she wanted to play with paper dolls. I told her she could play with them when her rest was over, but apparently she didn't like that answer. She told me, "No, I'm going to play with them NOW." And sat down at the dining room table, ready to play. She was so sure of herself and had such confidence in her little voice! Jimmy and I looked at each other in surprise. Where did that come from? Before I could answer her, Jimmy told her that it was time for a rest and that the paper dolls would be there when she came down. She whined a little, but she did go along with it. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to work when I do the same. Is it the deep male voice that makes her comply?
I'm pretty sure this new phase is about control. Along with the defiance, she's also been telling everyone around her what to do. We even have a new nickname for her - Scorsese {as in the director Martin}.
It looks like it's time to break out one of my favorite books - How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. Have you read it?
4 comments:
I haven't read that book, but I think Ellie wrote the sequel: "How to Talk so Adults have Nervous Breakdowns." The tagline is "Turn their hair gray in 3 short months!" (k)
I haven't read it. I stopped reading parenting books after #3 was born. Not because I stopped thinking I could learn something, but because I just didn't have time. We were too busy focusing on staying alive and I got out of the habit of trying to actually proactively parent. I should probably pick up a few books...
Good book! The best parenting advice I ever received was this: your job as a parent is to give your child the tools to be a sucessful adult and a sucessful adult is someone who can get along with others and lead an independent life. That ideal helped make a lot of parenting choices. Generally speaking, it's usually easier to give in to them now, but it won't help them later. When I framed my decisions that way, it usually took away my ambivalence. Hope that made sense! Enjoy reading your blog!
Sue - I haven't read any books lately either, but it's something I do when I feel like I don't have answers!
Rose - That's great advice!
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